Cal Foxx (cal_foxx) wrote in poly_grrls,
Cal Foxx

Feeling very alone right now.

I don't know what to feel or think right now. Tonight is the first night that Heather is sleeping the entire night in R's room with him, leaving me feeling very alone, scared, and abandoned. This is what she wanted though, and he too, so I felt it only right to let them have tonight. We did cuddle together for a long time in bed before she went to him, but afterwards, I felt very alone and apprehensive, and since I couldn't get to sleep, I came downstairs and have been online since 10PM or so. I'm going to try to go to sleep after posting this, and cuddle up with her large rabbit plush and try not to cry myself to sleep. She is supposed to come back to me at 8AM to reconnect with me and what ever may come, so that is something for me to look forward too. Then we are supposed to go out for a walk and coffee together. That should be nice too. Anyway, just needed to get my thoughts and feelings down on paper, so to speak. It does help me a lot to be able to write this all out. It's a learning experience, to be sure.
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